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A suitably Valentine-themed news article: Barbie has broken up with… - W.A.S.T.E

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February 14th, 2004


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01:27 am
A suitably Valentine-themed news article: Barbie has broken up with Ken and taken up with an Australian surfer named Blaine. Pity she didn’t wait and dump Ken on The Day itself, though.

Despite the writer’s careful explanation that the newest model was “Cali (as in Californian) Girl Barbie”, I managed to misread the later reference as “Call Girl Barbie”, which momentarily put a different spin on that paragraph.

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[User Picture]
From:z_gryphon
Date:February 14th, 2004 07:05 am (UTC)
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One wonders, idly, whether the box Ken comes in will now be labeled "Barbie's ex-boyfriend KEN". And, for that matter, whether Ken will take this opportunity to finally come out of the closet. There was that version a few years ago who came with a mesh tank top and a cock ring on a chain around his neck, after all, which the guys at Mattel attributed to a clueless toy designer working from a magazine photo, IIRC. I suppose not, though, the general public not being really prepped for that kind of thing. More likely he'll take up with Skipper. Predatory little tart that she is, she's probably already made her first move.

Me, I just wish they'd really made the Hacker Barbie that was the subject of one of the better April 1 USENET hoaxes years ago. The obvious appeal of a hacker persona for such a pervasive character aside, she was reported to come dressed in faded jeans and a man's white dress shirt, which is by some strange coincidence one of my favorite cute-female outfits. :)
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From:jehanna
Date:February 14th, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)

Re:

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whether Ken will take this opportunity to finally come out of the closet.

That was my theory. I was figuring he'd be off to hit on the GI Joes.
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From:kalshann
Date:February 16th, 2004 07:29 am (UTC)
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by one report I read apparenly many of the reporters brought their own gi-joes and mocked Kenn and tut-tuted Barbie for dumping him!

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