Special Needs Pets was the best title of the week and turned out to be rather a good programme. Good in a bad way. Viewers will have been divided about this examination of the undying love some humans have for animals that would have been better off dead. Paralysed rabbits, cats in nappies, obsessively masturbating parrots, collapsible dogs. Some will have seen this as a collection of heartwarming Daily Mail stories of love across species, while others will have laughed until they blew their soup down their noses. I was in the latter camp. By the time we got to the animal chiropractor who had been treating insemination bulls' pelvises for repetitive strain injury, I was a helpless, moist ball, mewing hysterically. I have reached an age where the only things I find really funny are the humiliating and painful misadventures of others.